Suspicions, Hunches and Conjectures about Where Things May Be Headed Next.
Confirmation that we aren’t the only intelligent life in the Universe. (Of course, thanks to the size of the place, the odds that E.T. will ever need to call home, or vice versa, remain, well, pretty astronomical.)
If ETs are discovered, the Asian religious faiths (Hinduism and Buddhism, for example) will have little difficulty absorbing this development. On the other hand, the event will be sobering news to evangelical and fundamental Christians.
If aliens appear, this is what they will find most surprising about us chickens:
increase survival rates
(Okay, I stole that list from a brainy guy named Brent Williams.)
We are about to discover why the prime number 137 repeatedly crops up in quantum physics. Oh, you didn’t know it does? Then you need to read the late Richard Feynman’s reasons for calling 137 (actually, it’s a fraction, 1/137) a “magic number” and “one of the greatest damn mysteries of physics.”
Donald Trump will soon appoint an “Under Secretary for Ties”). Applicants will be required to try out in a TV reality show called “The Valet—Not Your Usual Car Parker.”
New MBAs will need to learn this emerging management skill: how to integrate your pet into boardroom activities when you need comforting.
One of the best-read websites in 2021 will be called The Last Newspaper. (Oops, never mind. It’s already here.)
Emer McLysaght will some day be elected to the U.S. Congress. This young millennial’s sense of what needs fixing is uncanny.
We’ll start requiring people who think they can foretell the future to post product warnings. (Go here for a vivid reminder of why this matters.)
Here are my warnings:
DO NOT BET THE FARM IF THE COWS CAN’T COME HOME
DO NOT PUT THESE PREDICTIONS IN YOUR WAFFLE IRON
DO NOT TEMPT PRESIDENT TRUMP TO TWEET
DO NOT USE BODY WASHES OR CONSUME ENERGY DRINKS BEFORE READING
KEEP AWAY FROM GROUCHES, FOMENTERS AND PERVERTS
USE SAFETY GOGGLES WHEN READING THIS AROUND NEW AGERS
DO NOT USE IF YOU CAN’T READ WARNING LABELS!
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